Grudge Match

Grudge Match

Rated R and Released in Grand Rapids 12/27/13

Reviewed 1/8/14 at Celebration North in Grand Rapids, MI

with Gary

1 1/2 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating Sytsem

I feel like a grumpy old movie reviewer when watching this boxing version of Grumpy Old Men. The premise is so implausible. Two over 60 boxers doing a rematch? Come on.  Golf or maybe tennis would be a bit more believable. I can't believe Robert DeNiro as Billy "The Kid" McGuigan starred in this flick. There are a few humorous moments, but if Sylvester Stallone playing Henry "Razor" Sharp is speaking, you better listen close because he is hard to decipher. Kevin Hart as Dante Slate, Jr., the promoter of the event, was funny at times but boy oh boy Kim Bassinger as Sally is a little out of practice or maybe she was always awful. Her daughter Ireland Bassinger Baldwin as the young Sally is Oscar material compared to her.

Determined Dante Slate hatches up a plan to make some money that is much needed for him and Razor. It has been 30+ years of bad blood and not speaking. But why not get back in the ring with Billy "The Kid" for a rematch that was abandoned all those years ago? Razor very reluctantly agrees to some promotion as long as he does not have to see Billy.

But this does not happen according to plan. The pair overlap filming a commercial, hostility surfaces and they quickly engage in a scuttle. A bystander records it on their phone and it is up on You Tube spreading like wildfire. Interest has been fueled and fans now want to see the match, not because they think it will be a good fight but because it's so outlandish it will be entertaining to mock. Money starts to fly around and the ante is up. Match is on, match is off, match is back on, Razor can't make up his mind depending on how desperate he is. Alan Arkin provides the only real quality to the movie as Louis "Lightening" Conlon, the comical and very retired trainer to Razor. The part where Louis is training Razor (emulating a scene from Rocky) and Razor is running the distance with Louis just ahead of him in his scooter will crack you up. Unfortunately, not much else will. Two newbies have re-entered both fighters' lives, a long-lost grown son for Billy and long-lost love Sally for Razor. All their lives are a little messed up and very intertwined. Choppy haste, this is all leading up to the big "Match". Gary and I both were like, "just end it already"! The closeups of the two fighting was a turnawayer, not because it was so gruesome, they just looked so bad. I think you really could skip this one altogether and hope that one day Stallone will just stick to what he is good at. Hmmm...????

QUIET Rating system: 1 ½ Js

Quality: Jj

Understood story:  JJ

Interest: Jj

Entertainment:  JJ

Time:  Jj