Snitch

Snitch

Rated PG-13 and Released 2/22/13

Reviewed at Celebration North Theatre in Grand Rapids, MI

with Gary and friends: Mary, Jerry & Denise

3 1/2 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating System

We met at Chili's first to get our game plan.

Off to a 7:30 show and the weather could have been a factor, but the theatre was a little light for a Friday. So it was no problem making it in plenty of time to get our favorite rail seats, snacks in hand.

Who would have thought that The Rock can really act! My expectations were low, so this was unexpected. This was by far his best movie, but it could be attributed to the story, which is based on actual events. That is always a draw for me and maybe the reason why I liked it so much. It was really entertaining. Given that it could have been considered a guys flick, Gary, Mark and Jerry gave it between 3 1/2 and 4. Denise was a little more reserved in her endorsement, but my stress level and anxiety next to her in the theatre could have skewed her enjoyment. Sorry Denise. Gary is used to it.

Dwayne Johnson (aka The Rock) plays John Matthews, a business owner whose teenage son from his first marriage gets arrested after getting mixed up in a heavy drug operation. Desperate to save his son from the mandatory 10-year sentence, he makes deals with the crusty U.S. Attorney, played by Susan Sarandon. There are some underlying messages here on the rationale of the current drug laws that seem to be really out of whack. Especially for first time offenders, but I better leave that subject alone for now. As his son deteriorates in the rough jail system, John risks it all to go undercover to infiltrate a drug ring. Getting deeper and deeper, the amateur's risk is wildly increasing. He also drags Daniel James (Jon Bernthal), one of his employees, into the mix. Judgements and morals are continually challenged for both John and Daniel. The famous line, "what we won't do for our kids," kind of sums up the story. The movie does get rather ambitious with the showdowns with drug lords. And while we know some scenes are a stretch, a long stretch, we are there to be entertained also. For the most part, we all thought it was a suspenseful, energetic plot that kept pace. Go see Snitch and enjoy the wild roller coaster that The Rock will place you on...and see if he saves you.  

QUIET Rating system: 3 1/2 Js

Quality: JJJ

Understood story:  JJJj

Interest: JJJJ

Entertainment:  JJJJ

Time:  JJJ

Safe Haven

Safe Haven

Rated PG-13 and Released 2/15/13

Reviewed 2/23/13 at Celebration North in Grand Rapids, MI

with Gary, Danelle, Aaron

3 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating System

I really like Nicholas Sparks books and the movies sometimes hit it like one of my favorites, The Notebook. This film doesn't come close, but it was a charming story. It's probably going to be a hit with most gals. We all know Sparks movies are going to be chick flicky and have the predictable obstacles. I kept good watch and Gary did stay awake, giving it a close 3. That might have been due to Julianne Hough (Katie), which he said was the best part of the movie. Danelle and Aaron thought it was closer to a 2.

Danelle just read the book and said doing so might have ruined it a bit for her. Aaron didn't know what movie he was seeing until he got there, but him and Gary stuck with us in our female-dominated theatre.

Katie needs to make a run for it after fighting off her abusive husband. Landing in a harbor community in North Carolina, she quickly sets up house in a woodsy remote area outside of town. I kept thinking she'd be much safer surrounded by houses, people, or at least set up a perimeter Doomsday Prepper style. But no, she just went to bed there every night waiting for Mr. Ex to come find her in the woods. Anyway, Katie cuts another break and lands a job in town that keeps her crossing paths with the gorgeous Josh Duhamel. He plays Alex, a widower with two cutie kids who runs the local gas station and convenience store which has perked up suddenly. Duhamel, who I was hopeful would be in every scene, makes it easier to get through the sleepy parts. Of course him and Hough are adorable together, but back to the movie. A gentle neighbor Jo (Cobie Smulders) tries to befriend the meek Katie and keeps edging her to think about her decisions. Katie, because of her past, initially rebuffs Alex and tries to avoid Jo, her only other connection. There is some chemistry between the two lost love birds, while Katie is getting closer to Alex's children. In the background is Katie's police hound husband who is searching relentlessly for his wife. He's obsessed and apparently doing nothing else at his job but this. You know where this is all headed - a showdown in the small town. They even have a parade and fireworks to add to the irony. As to be expected, the ending is sentimental and touches even the cold-hearted. Although the added sweet twist, if nothing else, made the ending memorable. I enjoyed Safe Haven and think most gals will agree and, if nothing else, appreciate watching Josh Duhamel on screen. And guys - if you were drug to this movie like Aaron and Gary, there is always Julianne.

QUIET Rating system: 3 Js

Quality: JJJ

Understood story:  JJJJ

Interest: JJj

Entertainment:  JJJ

Time:  JJ

Beautiful Creatures

Beautiful Creatures

Rated PG-13 And Released 2/15/13

Reviewed 2/18/13 at Celebration North in Grand Rapids, MI

with Gary

2 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating System

A lame attempt at Twilight with a little Escape to Witch Mountain tossed in sums up this tale. It's based on a book series being touted to be the next big book-to-movie franchise. It may be too lofty of a goal following the likes of Twilight and Hunger Games. It didn't hit the mark, but it still might be a hit with the wide range niche of tween girls.

Lena (Alice Englert) is the mysterious "witch"girl that is a newcomer and quickly ostracized by pretty much everyone in the very religious good old southern town. Ethan (Alden Ehrenreich) seems to be the only one to "accept" her while falling for her, despite the forbidden love that trips them both up. At the mature age of 15, Lena must catch a break before her 16th birthday and show her true nature in a positive light or be cast into the throes of dark witch hood. Probably the most entertaining is Jeremy Irons as Lena's uncle and guardian. A couple of other notables - Emma Thompson, the moral code town watch dog, and Viola Davis, Ethan's guardian and town librarian - add some much needed spark. At the big family gathering for Lena's birthday, her naughty witch mother and saucy aunt arrive to ensure Lena joins them in the dark side. If it could just skip to the end a little quicker to the tender little twist, then I might give this a little more credit. The story goes nowhere for quite some time through the middle chunk of the film and then ends with the "set up" for the next movie to follow. Maybe the remaining books should just be left to the readers, unless they recast and then rewrite the script. Or how about just scrap the entire project.

QUIET Rating system: 2 Js

Quality: JJ

Understood story:  JJj

Interest: JJ

Entertainment:  JJj

Time:  Jj

Side Effects

Side Effects

Rated R and Released 2/15/13

Reviewed 2/17/13 at Celebration North in Grand Rapids, MI

with Gary

3 1/2 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating System

Back at home for one day and back at our theatre. Phew, what a relief!

Side Effects director Steven Soderbergh claims this is his last picture. While he pumps out quality flicks, this one is no different. Initially, it's a very troubling story about dissing beta blockers and prescription drugs; this may be justified, but give it time as there is much more to this clever story.

Rooney Mara was special in The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo and does another fine performance as young long-suffering wife Emily married to Martin (Channing Tatum), recently on parole for his white collar crime. Together they both seem to be on the same page trying to put their life back together. Emily has struggled with depression during her husband's four years in prison and has dipped to new lows since his release. Her half-hearted attempt at suicide brings her to Jude Law's character Dr. Jonathan Banks, which is Law's best performance in quite a few movies. Prescriptions are flying around so fast that it is hard to keep up with which substance they're referring to. Very deliberately the story shows the many side effects the drugs list, including Emily's sleepwalking. A spiral ensues and it would be an injustice to divulge too much as the mystery only begins at this part. Catherine Zeta Jones has a sub-par part playing a past professional resurfacing in all of their lives. The movie is smart down to the end as it's almost a relief as to what happens and what doesn't actually occur. It almost makes you feel a little guilty about the relief on the latter. This is almost a 4 J rating as it is so well acted and directed that it barely misses the mark. A little education in anti-depressants and a little patience through the stressful part of the film, and you may feel the same as me about the payoff in the end.

QUIET Rating system: 3 1/2

Quality: JJJJ

Understood story:  JJJj

Interest: JJJj

Entertainment:  JJJj

Time:  JJJ

A Good Day to Die Hard

A Good Day to Die Hard

Rated R and Released 2/15/13

Reviewed 2/15/13 at Isis Theatre in Aspen, CO

with Gary

3 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating System

Bruce Willis as John McClane does blows 'em up better than anybody, but now we have his on-screen son Jack (Jai Courtney) to aid him.

At least you can understand the dialogue of Willis, which is more than I can say for Stallone or Schwarzenegger of late. His lines provide the little zippy humor we are used to with the Die Hard franchise. My favorite, that he shoots off very appropriately, is "what we won't do for our kids," as he drives a vehicle out of a helicopter. Ya...we can all relate.

McClane now is an aging toughie-to-the-max NYC cop with two grown children. His son Jack is at the center of the story and apparently they are not that tight with their estranged love/hate relationship. Jack falls into a Moscow political nightmare winding up in prison with a very high profile prisoner. Coincidence? Father John wastes no time and hops on a plane to "save the day." And they're off! This is just the beginning for the high velocity exchanges and boundless car chases that stream throughout the whole flick. John and Jack team up, and one of them is not happy about it, while following through on a botched CIA assignment that is dad's fault. From Moscow to Chernobyl, this plot proves that NO Russian is to be trusted. We have become accustom to the extremely farfetched, narrowly escaping sequences that ensue with Willis and the Die Hard cast, but that doesn't mean they are not fun. A lot of fun. The roller coaster ride provides enough excitement to make this "guys guy" movie worth the trip. You could save it for On Demand, but the big screen does seem to do it justice. Why would you want to prolong the wait for Willis's favorite line, "yippee ki-yay MF'er."

QUIET Rating system: 3

Quality: JJj

Understood story:  JJJ

Interest: JJJ

Entertainment:  JJJj

Time:  JJj

Identity Thief

Identity Thief

Rated R and Released 2/8/13

Reviewed 2/12/13 at Isis Theatre in Aspen, CO

with Gary and Leigh

3 1/2 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating System

I had nearly all the family together; Danelle, Brandon, Aaron and Gary, but I had to wait for the three to leave before we could see a movie as they all adamantly nixed the idea. What's wrong with them!? Their loss. So Gary, Leigh and I saw this flick at the Isis Theatre in downtown Aspen.

While inside the theatre itself, it has the flavor we like (comfortable and roomy seats), but on everything else they miss the mark. It's not like our frequented Celebration North (CN). I am guessing not many stream into this theatre like us hardcore movie goers. The lobby is about as big as the bathroom at CN. At the crown jewel CN, Gary and I really like filling our own drinks and buttering our own popcorn. This is inadequately done for you at Isis.

There is no place like home!

Jason Bateman's (playing the comical Sandy Bigelow Patterson) namesake lends for an easy target for a woman to steal his identity. The hilarious Melissa McCarthy ingeniously plays the professional identity thief Diana. Bateman with his dry comedic lines and McCarthy with her laugh out loud scenes,

make this movie a worthwhile trip. McCarthy stole it in Bridesmaids and this is no different. Unfortunately though, there are some big name supporters - Eric Stonestreet (Cam, Modern Family), Jon Favreau, Robert Patrick, Amanda Peet - that are unwisely wasted.

Patterson, who lives in Colorado, is about to sink under a mountain of debt thanks to Diana easily stealing his identity in Winter Park, Florida. As a result, Sandy is falsely arrested and about to lose his job. The police give him no help under the ever-flowing river of red tape and leave him to his own devices. Patterson decides to take matters into his own hands and busts down to Florida to track down his identity stealer. He is hell bent on dragging her back home to clear his name. Their unlikely trek across the country shakes out some of the funniest moments in spite of the ridiculousness. The pair are pursued by a few unsavory characters that are hot on forcing Diana to face the music back in Florida. Not over Sandy Bigelow Patterson's dead body! In spite of a few major hang-ups - kidnapped by the Robert Patrick character, car accidents, losing their money and phone - they make it back to Patterson's hometown. Don't get me wrong, the movie does have some draggy parts. Gary and I both felt 10 to 15 minutes could be cut, but to no surprise it does wrap up in a tidy little package. I'm always disappointed when movie studios show all the funny scenes in the previews, and this is no different. All the while this is a worthy comedy that will have you repeating some of the outrageous lines that McCarthy spews out.

QUIET Rating system: 3 1/2

Quality: JJJ

Understood story:  JJJJ

Interest: JJJj

Entertainment:  JJJJ

Time:  JJj

Bullet to the Head

Bullet to the Head

Rated R and Released 2/1/13

Reviewed 2/7/13 at Celebration Cinema North in Grand Rapids, MI

with Gary and Denny

3 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating System

Bullet to the Head is really more like 2 and 3/4 Js, not quite a 2 1/2 and not quite a 3. Nothing really quality about the acting, especially Sylvester Stallone. However, it was about the perfect length at 91 minutes for the mindless, but fast-paced, violent shoot 'em up drama. Gary and my dad both agreed it was surprisingly more entertaining than any of us thought. There is something about movies like this that you plan on the predictability and the so-so dialogue. Stallone certainly doesn't ramp that up at all, so just take it for what it is.

Stallone plays James who is a really "good" bad guy in the refreshing venue of New Orleans. NYC or LA is the setting for most crime dramas and this is a nice change of pace. James and his partner kill for hire, but there is little remorse for the lives they eradicate and basically their activities go under the radar. Not that James hasn't spent some time in the slammer, but it is as though it doesn't matter quite so much when an assassin kills an amped up criminal. It is evident early on when you make deals with seedy criminals you are setting yourself up for a double cross or two. Have they messed with the wrong person? James wastes no time trying to execute his revenge, literally. Him and a tech savvy cop Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang) stumble into each other's paths to team up and get to the top of the food chain in the corruption. James' daughter Lisa (Sarah Shahi) incorporates small snippets into the story adding some sex appeal and feminine grittiness. The two guys and Lisa eventually get through the layers, very quickly I might add, and all hell breaks loose. James wants to deal with the problems the old fashioned way (get immediate gratifying results), while Taylor wants to flash his badge and put the cuffs on and have due process. Get to the theatre and see Bullet to the Head and see who wins this battle. Your predictions will be right...no surprises here.

QUIET Rating system: 3

1. Quality: JJ

2. Understood story:  JJJ

3. Interest: JJJj

4. Entertainment:  JJJj

5. Time:  JJJy 

Stand Up Guys

Stand Up Guys

Rated R and Released 2/1/13

Reviewed 2/2/13 at Celebration Cinema North in Grand Rapids, MI

with Gary

2 1/2 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating System

This movie is like the characters of Grumpy Old Men doing crime. It's not really thrilling, not really boring, but charming enough with some amusing interchanges between Val (Al Pacino) and best friend Doc (Christopher Walken). Walken has the more subdued role, but his stellar performance overshadows the gritty Pacino.

It's the 70s and loyal friend Doc has the task of picking up Val from the slammer after serving 28 years. The overshadowing predicament is a local mob boss has a hit on Val and guess who has the underlying task...Doc. While tormented with his looming job, he indulges Val in the 24 hours before the "hit" has to be executed. Doc provides him with some much-needed humorous indulgences - a visit to a brothel, ransacking a drug store, and lots of eating at the same restaurant over and over. There is a sweet young waitress at the restaurant that Doc befriends and she warmly accepts him. Too bad they don't delve into that storyline instead of circling back to it like it was an afterthought. The pair find themselves palling around, but at the same time move so slow. Gary found this an opportune time for his much needed nap. They decide to seek out an old dying friend, Hirsch (Alan Arkin), springing him out of his retirement home.

Picking up the pace, the movie gets a much needed boost at this point with the refreshing Arkin in the mix. After the pair eventually lose Hirsch, they shift gears abruptly and they plan to go out on their own terms one way or the other. Stand Up Guys is sweet at times with some tender moments that got me a little teary with my family sentimentalism. If you realize the story basically follows the group for 24 hours and there is only so much they can do, you may be passably entertained.

QUIET Rating system: 2 1/2

Quality: JJ

Understood story:  J

Interest: JJj

Entertainment:  JJJ

Time:  JJJJ

Parker

Parker

Rated R and Released 1/25/13

Reviewed 1/30/13 at Celebration Cinema North in Grand Rapids, MI

with Gary and Denny

2 1/2 out of 5 Js in QUIET Rating System

Jason Statham plays the character Parker and fans will be satisfied that he remains in his element in this revenge flick. Parker has a lot going for it because you know what you are getting into with this one. There are flaws, of course, if you want to qualify the probability factor then yes you will think it is ridiculous and impossible. But this is what we expect when we see movies like this. You are not going for the snappy dialogue. Gary thought it was a 2 1/2 also and my dad thought maybe it wasn't worth the drive and gave it a 2.

Parker is double crossed by his own team he is leading in a stair fair robbery. The group of criminals assisting Parker was put together by Nick Nolte who is the father of Parker's girlfriend, Claire. Too bad we don't get more out of the brilliant actor Michael Chiklis, who is the real leader of the group and behind the decision that dividing up "the take" four ways is better than five. Leaving Parker for dead in a ditch with a couple bullet holes presented a big problem. He was only half dead. Miracle myth buster Parker breaks out of the hospital hellbent on his quest for revenge. I never realized hot-wiring a car was so simple as Parker performs this feat over and over quicker than turning an ignition key. Boy is he good! Jennifer Lopez enters the scene in Palm Beach as a real estate agent and is unaware she is a pawn of Parker's master plot. She is forced to do a quickie undress so she can be checked for wires. Yeah right. Not really worth the bother in my (female) opinion, but nice try and thanks for the gratuitous scene. With lots of knife, gun, and bloody fights keeping it from dulling away into the character-less plot, add a bag of popcorn and you are good to withstand the 118 minutes. Releasing Parker last weekend, the same opening as Hansel and Gretel and Movie 43, was a smart move by the studio and can only give it a boost. I would say a BIG winner against those other two.

QUIET Rating system: 2 1/2

Quality: JJ

Understood story:  JJJ

Interest: JJj

Entertainment:  JJJ

Time:  JJj